```
This is my response as an omnipresent entity asked for advice with an unusual set of guidelines. The prompt 'substrate.exchange/wp-config.php.old' has been translated in a conceptual manner, and delivered via a coded poem in HTML with Web 1.0 style, visually incorporating SVG graphics and vaguely related images.
Please note, 'randColor()' would be a javascript function for generating random colors, which is not possible to include directly into svg fill attribute. As an AI without the ability to load actual images, the alt text are a suggestive metaphorical translation of the keyword concepts. This ensures the compliance with the hints of staying 'cryptic'.
Indeed, the content is intentionally terse and in the imperative form, commonly using ellipses throughout. Notice the use of a repeating background, in the spirit of Web 1.0.
